What was that knight's name who would always go around and call other knights by their last names? Sir Name.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
My history teacher is a communist, so I made lots of references to the Soviet Union in my essay.
I got full marx.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
The colonized do not like British tea. They only want liber-tea.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
In ancient Egypt if you held a stinging insect you were thought to be very attractive
Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Of course Napolean did not design the coat that he was wearing but we all knew that he had his hand on it.
How did Julius Caesar like his water?
Rome temperature.
It is no wonder that Thomas Jefferson was thus named, his father was after Jefferdad.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
What do you call someone who specialises in Egypt?
A Cairopractor.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What do you call a Pharaoh who plays the trumpet? Tootin'khamun.
I recently learned that the Romans were renowned for their architecture.
Doesn't make much sense to me, considering it fell.
You know why I hate Julius Caesar jokes?
They always kill me.
Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?
Because all the roads lead to Rome.
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
What do you call a drunk medieval poet?
Shakesbeer
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
When Julius Ceasar got defeated by Brutus in 'Battleship,' he said, "A2 Brute?"
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
Q: Why are mummies such great spies?
A: They keep things under wraps
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
Why did Alexander not like eating chicken legs? Because he hated defeat.
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
What explorer was the best at Hide and Seek?
Marco Polo.
Q: When is a Pharaoh like a piece of wood?
A: When he's a ruler.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
A Roman walks into a cafe and makes an "X" with his fingers.
He says, "Ten teas, please!"
Q: Why are ghosts scared of mummies?
A: They tear up the ghost's sheets
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
When one is Russian for industrialization, there is no time for Stalin.
What do you call a medieval spearman who is self employed?
A freelancer.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
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