What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
I wonder why Lenin didn't realize that communism would fail to work. There were so many red flags everywhere.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?
"Toga-ther, we can rule the world!"
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Did you hear about the Pharaoh who was lying in the wrong coffin? He made a grave mistake.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
Did you hear about the mummy who goes to university? His favorite subject is Cryptography.
When were Medieval armies too tired to fight?
When they had a lot of sleepless knights!
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
I like my pasta the way I like my medieval Italian literature.
All Dante.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Why couldn't Vivaldi play medieval music?
Because his violin was Baroque
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was roamin around during war.
The Romans must have thought the year three thousand was going to be tasty.
MMM
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
What happens when a Roman insults a Parisian's coffee?
A French Roast.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
If you need an Ark, I Noah guy.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
I can't remember how to write 1, 1000, 51, 6 or 500 in Roman numerals.
I M L I VI D
For the last two weeks my kids have been building a medieval blanket fort every evening to sleep in. Many nights they also stayed up past their bedtime playing fortnight under its protective cover.
It was a night knight fort for Fortnight for a fortnight.
I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...
I was Nun the Wiser.
A history student was so enamored with Ancient Rome that he decided to become a Roman himself. His friends weren't very supportive. They kept telling him to get with the times,
New Roman.
What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?
Indepen-dance.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
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