Why was Cleopatra so in love with Egypt's ruler?
Pharaohmones
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
The yearbook superlative that Robert Lee had given in his graduation was "Most likely to secede."
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
I saw the Liberty Bell.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you'd get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
Medieval cures...
Were leeches on society
My teacher told me in History class to do some light reading on the history of the light bulb.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What's a snake's favorite subject to study in school? Hisssstory.
What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?
Can't- elope!
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
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