Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
When I asked my History teacher if he knew about Einstein's origin and history, he said, "I am relatively aware of it."
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
How good/bad was the Internet at the time of the Roman Emperors?
Let me put it that way: the lag was so bad it took Jesus three days just to respawn and he got disconnected soon afterwards.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
Which was the largest Gladiator of them all?
Gluteus Maximus
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Why are automatic doors like knights?
Because they're chivalrous!
Getting a Roman soldier to stand next to an Irishman ...
... requires a lot of Gaul.
The paper my student wrote on Tsar Ivan was so bad, it was tearable.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
When Napoleon is indecisive, he is torn-apart-e.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
Why did Rome Fall?
Because it slipped on some Greece.
I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
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