Why did Arthur have a round table?
So nobody could corner him!
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
When Julius Ceasar got defeated by Brutus in 'Battleship,' he said, "A2 Brute?"
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
If I lived in medieval times, I'd be a tavern guard.
I've always been known for my Inn-Security.
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
A student holds a gun to his English teacher. "Give me all your money or you're geography!"
"You mean history."
"Don't change the subject!"
Why were people in the Medieval times so self absorbed?
Because they thought that they were the center of the universe.
Did you hear about the medieval kinghunter?
He excelled in throne weapons
What's an Ancient Egyptian favorite restaurant?
Pizza Tut!
The one time of the day when knights are willing to work is during the knightshift.
Did you know knights are known for wearing dishware?
Thats why they call it plate armor.
During the Great Depression, President Hoover didn't give a dam.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
The Romans used devastating wordplay against the Carthaginians, during the Punic Wars.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
The mummy was very sore from lying down for years. So he called a Cairo-practor.
To get to the other tide.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?
A Plebeian J
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