On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
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