Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
What did the vacuum cleaner salesman say before murdering his son?
Dyson!
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
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