What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
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