I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
I bought a new heater for my wife.
She didn't like it first, but now I think she's warmed up to it.
My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
The sun is just a big space heater.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
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