Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
The calm before the score
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
We’ll have a ball.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Give me some pigskin
I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
By the seat of one’s punt
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Beauty is only pig skin deep
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
Which football playoff team are Star Trek fans rooting for ?
The Green Bay Picards.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
Case in punt
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
What do you call a giant that's good at football?
Goaliath.
Football is one habit I will never kick
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
All punts are highly intended
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
I feel tail great!
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!