A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Give me some pigskin
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
Football is one habit I will never kick
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
We’ll have a ball.
Case in punt
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
Calm before the score
Why is Cinderella bad at football?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
All punts are highly intended
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
Prepare to be bowled over.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
By the seat of one’s punt
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
I feel tail great!
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
We’re calling your number.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
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