What’s the difference between a punter and punster?
A punster gets his kicks with bad puns like these!
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
We’ll have a ball.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Case in punt
Football is one habit I will never kick
Join us for plenty of play action.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
Having a ball
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
I feel tail great!
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
I almost brought a screwdriver to the football game, but was stopped by security
They said that match-fixing isn't allowed.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
The calm before the score
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Prepare to be bowled over.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
By the seat of one’s punt
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
The huddle is real
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
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