I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Prepare to be bowled over.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
What stat do the Miami Dolphins lead every single year?
All Porpoise Yardage!
Calm before the score
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
What’s a Movers favorite football team?
The Packers!
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
The huddle is real
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
What happened when the football coach’s dog ran onto the field during a game?
He got called for ineligible retriever down field!
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
The goal nine yards
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
o my friend Justin was late for the football game.
But that’s okay because he arrived Justin time for kickoff.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
What did the football player say to his Chinese son
Go Long!
I like your tight end
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Beauty is only pig skin deep
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
We’re calling your number.
Did you hear about the football team that drafted a vending machine?
They really needed a quarter back!
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Did you hear about the Heisman Trophy candidate who falsified his rushing stats?
The yards were stacked in his favor!
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
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