I’ve been getting blitzed all game.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
How do you call football without shoes?
Socker.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
We’ll have a ball.
A knife tried out for Varsity football.
It didn't make the cut.
Did you hear about the fumbled exorcism? The guy retained possession!
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
What do you do if a running back swallows the football?
You have to get him to cough it up!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
Football is one habit I will never kick
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
I’ve never lost a game of football basketball or volleyball!
Though I’ve never played a game either.
Case in punt
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
If an Octopus were to play football, how many tackles per game would an Octopus have?
Tentacles
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
[Chips] This is what I call a chip shot.
We’re calling your number.
[Chicken] We’re serving this during the game, so you might call it a live ball fowl.
Join us for plenty of play action.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
I’m icing the kicker – and by kicker, I mean beer.
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
Prepare to be bowled over.
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
Why wasn’t the pig chosen in the football/soccer team?
It was a ball hogger.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Having a ball
Staying humble thanks to that fumble
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
By the seat of one’s punt
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
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