I made a snap decision to watch football today
No intentional frowning is allowed here.
Why did the quarterback suddenly walk off the field?
The coach told him to take a hike!
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
I’ve been getting blitzed all game
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
The huddle is real
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
Why can’t a car play football?
Because it only has one boot.
Where do sperm play football?
In a con-dome.
Why couldn't the warden decide whether to allow the prison football team play the professional football team?
The idea had its pros and cons.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
What is a bird that flies over a football field called?
A fieldgull.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
[Food Spread] This is the line of scrumptiousness.
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
What must the Oregon football team do before each play?
Get all of their ducks in a row.
Football is one habit I will never kick.
Join us for plenty of play action.
Give me some pigskin
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
I feel tail great!
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
All punts are highly intended
Kicking off the afternoon in the best way possible
We’re calling your number.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
Do you know why an octopus is so good at Football?
It gets ten tackles a play.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
What do you call it when a football player suffers a career-ending injury in his last game before retirement? Gridirony!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
I like big punts and I cannot lie
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
Why was McGruff the Crime Dog ejected from the football game?
He was called for unnecessary gruffness!
What do you call a Spanish football player with no legs?
Gracias.
What did the foot say to the football?
I toed you.
A goal new ball game I he a kick outta you
Prepare to be bowled over.
What type of football player is the biggest drug addict?
The lineman.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
This event is sure to be out of bounds.
[Donuts] We’re going the hole nine yards for this game.
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