What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
How do skeleton’s get their mail delivered?
By the bony express.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
Why are hands so reliable?
Because you can always count on them.
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
I auditioned to be a carpenter’s hand.
Nailed it.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
I tried making a machine that shoots bullets out of your fingers, but it shot out my spine instead.
Well, that back fired.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
You’re my heartthrob.
"Bugs and hisses."
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
What did the doctor tell the skeleton who wanted to donate his body to science?
Spine on the dotted line.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
What happens when you shatter your funny bone?
You crack up.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
I got shafted.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs and hang on the wall?
Curt 'n Rod.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
What's a skeletons favorite activity?
Boning.
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
What do you call a group of arms?
An army.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
Why are skeletons such bad liars?
Everyone can see right through them.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
What does a skeleton play in a band?
A Trom-Bone.
Always think hard before you get married because on one hand you have a cool ring but on the other hand you don’t.
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
Go to BabaMail
