I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain. She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops. Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance? He played his heart out.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest. A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life? She just followed her heart.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage? His heart wasn’t in it.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents. The poor man dyed a loan.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart. Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week. Still can’t believe Gaviscon
What did the dinosaur say to his lover? You make my heart saur!
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work? A beater.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house! Home is where the heart is.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped, Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
What vegetable lives in your heart? Beets.
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.” “If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso. He didn’t put his heart into it.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood? Lettuce
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
You wanna know the way to my heart? A scalpel and a bone saw.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement A lease in Wonderland.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters? I Q U.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart" I couldn't if I tried.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red? She was feeling lighthearted.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
One or two hours warm my heart, But 24 hours make my day.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart? His chest.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm. I might have to deal with him later.
I have a heart-on for you.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack? Michael flatline.
You’re my heartthrob.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks? A Jack of Hearts.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order. Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween? He didn’t have the heart.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
My dad has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam? You look nervous.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart. It was like love meant nothing to her.