I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
You’re my heartthrob.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
I have a heart-on for you.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
What has a head but no body, a heart but no blood, leaves but no branches and grows without wood?
Lettuce
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
Go to BabaMail
