Don't crack under the sheer awesomeness of our Bone Puns!

My family visited a rude psychic, with degenerative bone disease, who insisted all of us had bad breath.
She was a super callous fragile mystic expecting halitosis.
I went skiing with broken bones.
I can't afford real skis.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
How heavy are your bones?
They are scale-a-ton.
I took my dog's bone away from him.
She was fur-rious.
The sound of my bones really cracks me up.
What bone does a dog not eat?
A trombone.
What’s the least honest bone in the body?
The fibula.
Someone said, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
So I through a dictionary at them.
What do you call a fake bone?
A faux-knee.
What happens when you shatter your funny bone?
You crack up.
What do you call a dog that likes to dig up bones?
A barkeologist.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
What are the two most profane bones in the human body?
The blasfemurs.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
I find bone puns very
Humerus.
I boiled a funny bone once.
It turned into a laughing stock.
Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.