There's no section handier than this one! Welcome to our Hand Puns!

I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
Baking and Fire Safety can go hand-in-hand.
Stop, drop and roll
A chemical in science class can make your hands go numb
But math will make you number.
How many bones are in the human hand?
A handful of them.
You really gotta hand it to short people, because they can't reach it on their own.
Why are hands so reliable?
Because you can always count on them.
Two detectives interrogate a 37 year old mute man. The detectives give the man a notepad which he scribbles on for a few seconds, and hands back to them.
"I'll never talk."
My daughter was just complaining about washing dishes by hand
I told her, “well... it’s better than washing them by foot.”
My sister asked me to hand her lipstick but i handed her a glue stick instead
She still won’t talk to me
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?
Linoleum Blownapart.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Guy walks into a tailor shop to pick up his suit. The tailor hands him a jacket and pair of pants. The guy says “But I had a 3-piece suit.”
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”
A lady stormed off when I asked about her hand bag.
Maybe the question was to pursonal.
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...
I wonder if he was kilt.
I auditioned to be a carpenter’s hand.
Nailed it.
I'll fight you with my bear hands.
Oh, deer.
What do you call it when the axe in your hand falls on your feet.
An AXEIDENT.
Exasperated, I threw my hands up in the air and shouted at my wife, "I'm not a complete idiot!" She smiled at me and purred, "I know honey."
"Some parts are missing."
Restrooms in restaurants often have a sign saying "Employees must wash hands".
But after waiting hours, no one has ever helped me with mine!
The guy who invented the watch must have had a lot of time on his hands
Working as a dock hand is hard,
but it's wharf it.
Always think hard before you get married because on one hand you have a cool ring but on the other hand you don’t.
I can't stand people who don't wash their hands.
They make me sick.
I got a new bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands messy by mixing the dough.
It is kneadless, to say.
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Gotta hand it to the blind prostitute.
I was sailing my boat when a massive hand rose out of the water and then slowly disappeared...
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
How did the gambler know his hand would stink?
Because he was holding deuces.