Your legs have brought you to the right place, the Leg Pun Section!

The Queen of the Nile was said to always show a bit of leg...
but Nefertiti.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
Bob.
What has four legs and one arm?

A rottweiler at a park.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every play needs a cast.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
A knew a guy with such a bad gambling addiction, that he gambled his arms, legs, and torso away.
I told him to quit while he was a head.
If a woman with big breasts works at Hooters, where does someone with one leg work?
IHOP.
I can't stand when people kick me in the back of the leg.
What did the doctor give the lollipop when he broke his leg
A candy cane.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast.
I broke both my legs yesterday and now I have to use a wheelchair
I really can’t stand my situation right now.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker

Hop In.
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
It doesn’t help that my doctor keeps making fun of my broken leg. He’s just adding insult to injury.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?
That’s okay, he’s all-right now!
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Russle.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
Why did the thief cut the legs off his bed?
Because he needed to lie low.
What can't cows stand on their hind legs?
Because they lactose.
What do you call a carnival worker who’s eating a turkey leg?
A carnie-vor.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
ILENE.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
What do you call a man with no legs and no arms resting on a porch?
Matt.
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run