Leg Puns

Your legs have brought you to the right place, the Leg Pun Section!

What did the doctor give the lollipop when he broke his leg
A candy cane.
It doesn’t help that my doctor keeps making fun of my broken leg. He’s just adding insult to injury.
Why did the thief cut the legs off his bed?
Because he needed to lie low.
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
What Do You Say To A One Legged Hitch Hiker

Hop In.
I don't mind leg day at the gym.
It's just the two days after that I can't stand.
How did the frog feel when he hurt his leg?
I broke both my legs yesterday and now I have to use a wheelchair
I really can’t stand my situation right now.
What do you call a man with no legs and no arms resting on a porch?
What do you call a martial artist who injured his leg?
Bruised Knee.
The Queen of the Nile was said to always show a bit of leg...
but Nefertiti.
Breaking a leg during an audition ensures you're in the cast.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
What happened to the pirate who lost his peg leg?
He couldn't find it, so he was stumped.
What can't cows stand on their hind legs?
Because they lactose.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every play needs a cast.
What has four legs and one arm?

A rottweiler at a park.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
Did you hear about the guy who got his left arm and left leg cut off?
That’s okay, he’s all-right now!
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg? Tie won shu
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day. She said "Wow that's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand!"
I said "Come on you're just pulling my leg."
If a woman with big breasts works at Hooters, where does someone with one leg work?
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What do you call a carnival worker who’s eating a turkey leg?
A carnie-vor.
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