I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
What do Mexicans wear on their heads in the pool?
Swimbreros.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
The Queen of the Nile was said to always show a bit of leg...
but Nefertiti.
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
I was walking down an alley in Scotland when I found a severed man's hand...
I wonder if he was kilt.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why do youngsters like pelvic bones so much?
Because they're hip.
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