What happens when you shatter your funny bone?
You crack up.
What can't cows stand on their hind legs?
Because they lactose.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day. She said "Wow that's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand!"
I said "Come on you're just pulling my leg."
How do you greet a skeleton in france?
"Bonejour."
One day, I looked to my spine and said
Thanks for all the support! Thanks to you we've grown to new heights.
How do a group of skeletons drive to work?
In the carpal lane.
Two meth heads start a relationship, is that considered speed dating
or just mething around?
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
I banged my head on a low bridge.
Would have been ok if viaduct.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
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