You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
Son: What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?
Dad: Their effort goes in vein.
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
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