Blood Puns

These puns will make your blood boil!

What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
I was terrified by the results of my blood test
But my doctor just said B positive
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
What do you call a blood vessel that's mad with power?
A Megalovieniac.
Don't you just hate it when it's 212 degrees outside? It really just makes my blood boil.
what does goblin's blood consist of?
A hemogoblin
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
What do you call a barbecued, blood-sucking insect?
Mesquite-o.
what do doctors use to draw blood?
A needle?
No, a red crayon!
Why did the blood sucking insect learn Latin?
It wanted to be a Roman-tic
What do you call a fraternity member who likes to drink the blood of goats?
A chupacabro.
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
You know what really makes my blood boil?
The vacuum of space.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
Before I became a dad, I was terrified I wouldn't know how to be a good one. Oddly enough, it turns out, it's in my blood - I come from a long line of fathers.
What blood type does a pessimist have?
B Negative
What do you call a glass of pig’s blood?
Swine.
What did one deoxygenated blood cell say to the other?
We're all in vain.
Did you know you can hear blood flowing close to the skin?
You just have to listen varicosely.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
Son: What happens when white blood cells fail to protect us from an infection?
Dad: Their effort goes in vein.
My friend has an insect parasite that can't stop fidgeting as it sucks blood.
He has a nervous tick.
My son asked me why our sailboat is named Blood
I yelled back: "Because it’s a bloody vessel!"
I took a blood test today
It was easy. I got A+, and I didn't even have to study!
I'm so Midwestern, it's in my blood
I'm type Ohp!-ositive
Donating blood can be A-positive experience
But sometimes it can B-negative.
So my blood test came back positive.
Turns out I’m full of the stuff.
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
What do you call a deer that feeds on the blood of others?
Vlad the impala.
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
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