No body has ever won a skeleton race.
I can't stand people who don't wash their hands.
They make me sick.
Every time I see my vegetable girlfriend, my heart just beet faster.
Why can’t a group of skeletons ever get anything done?
It’s a skeleton crew.
What do you call a crazy blood-sucking parasite?
A lunatick!
What do you say when two red blood cells get married?
Coagulations!
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
6:30 is hands down the best time on a clock
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
While browsing the bookshop, I stuck a sheet of A4 paper to my wife's spine.
She said she wanted a paperback for her birthday.
Midwife (handing me the baby): "Make sure you’re supporting his head."
Me: "That’s a great head you have there, Well done!"
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
Stay away from Gmail if you don't want to get shivers down your spine
There's clearly a draft in there.
I banged my head on a low bridge.
Would have been ok if viaduct.
Someone said, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."
So I through a dictionary at them.
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
Recently, my friend had his ankle bone crack.
I told him he shouldn't be so broken up over it.
Does anybody remember the joke I posted about my spine?
It was about a weak back.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
Why do we tell actors to “break a leg”?
Because every play needs a cast.
How heavy are your bones?
They are scale-a-ton.
Why did the skeleton go to the daycare?
To get his Kidneys.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
"Do you play the trom-bone?"
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What's a skeletons favorite activity?
Boning.
What do you call a group of arms?
An army.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Guy walks into a tailor shop to pick up his suit. The tailor hands him a jacket and pair of pants. The guy says “But I had a 3-piece suit.”
Tailor says “The vest is yet to come.”
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
The sound of my bones really cracks me up.
What is a profession involving spine realignment in Egypt?
A Cairo-practor.
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
What did the vampire say to the vampire hunter that missed his heart.
Well wasnt that an unfortunate missed-stake.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
A monk, a priest and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
The rabbit says "I think I'm a type o"
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
"Bone to be wild."
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?
He wants tibia honest.
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
Really takes me back.
Why was the skeleton so lonely?
He had no body.
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