What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
A brain aneurysm would be swell.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
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