When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
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