What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What dinner dish does a developing neuron use?
A neural plate.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
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