There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
A friend of mine lost the right side of of his brain in a car accident, but he wouldn’t stop drinking and driving.
No one in their right mind would do that.
Why was the neuron sent to the principal's office?
It had trouble controlling its impulses.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
What type of photos do neurons post to Facebook?
Cellfies.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What did the Hollywood film director say to the young neuron that wanted to be an actor?
"Hey kid, you've got potential."
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
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