Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
What did the axon terminal say to the receptor when they broke up?
I need my space.
How do you decide whether to be a Brain Surgeon or a Novelist?
You flip a coin. It’ll land on heads or tales.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What do you get when you cross a thought with a light bulb?
A bright idea.
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
What do you get when you cross a "bad idea for using fur" with 86 billion neurons?
A hare-brained idea.
What is the best toothpaste for the brain?
Neural crest.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.