Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
What are the magic words for a brainy magician?
Hocus sulcus.
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
What do neurons do on their birthdays?
They cell-ebrate
Why are fish so smart?
They spend a lot of time in schools.
What is a neuroscientist's favorite type of dog?
A labratory retriever.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What street does the hippocampus live on?
Memory lane.
Why didn't the brain want to take a bath?
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
What do you call glia when it is happy?
Smyelin.
The real reason humans have wrinkly brains?
We've been in the gene pool too long.
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What does a zombie say as he squishes your brains between his fingers?
Got your knows.
Where does a neuron keep its money?
In a brain bank.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
Did you know there's a college in the brain for hippopotami?
It's called the Hippocampus.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
Why does the spinal cord belong in the brass section of an orchestra?
Because of its dorsal and ventral horns.
Why are sponges and brains similar?
They both like to soak up "material"
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
What is the brain's favorite television channel?
The Neural Network.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What did the mother brain say to her oldest child when it was bothering her youngest child?
It didn't want to get brain-washed.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
My hypochondriac brother just told me he thinks he's got a brain tumor.
I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
If your dog was a neurologist, what would it do all day?
Perform PET scans.
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
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