There's a microchip you can transplant into your brain to boost your memory
You should keep that in mind.
When is a synapse like a tree?
When it is pruned.
How did the mother know her child would become a neuroanatomist?
He was constantly staining stuff.
If some of Fred Flintstone's neurotransmitters could talk, what would they say?
"Gaba-Daba-Do!"
Why can't a brain be 12 inches long?
Becuase then it would be a foot.
Why did the action potential cross the optic chiasm?
To get to the other side.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
I was doing brain surgery to a patient the other day
He was rather open-minded if you ask me.
An action potential takes the train to school. What is the name of the train station where it gets off for school?
Axon terminal.
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
Why were the axons bothered by myelin?
It was getting on their nerves.
What did the hippocampus say during its retirement speech?
"Thanks for the memories."
What is a myelinated neuron's favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Which cranial nerve would be right at home in a well-known city in Nevada?
The vagus nerve.
What do neurons use to talk to each other?
Cellular phones.
What
Did you know that a Squid’s esophagus goes through its brain?
Food for thought, isn’t it?
How do you mess up a brain, on paper?
With a few strokes.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
What is a sleeping brain's favorite musical group (rock band)?
REM.
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What happens if you break the brain scanner?
What do you call the shirt a neurosurgeon wears to every brain surgery?
His specialty.
Why do brain cells grown in a dish attend the ballet and opera?
Because they are very cultured.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
What do you call a group of brains who form a singing group at school?
A glia club.
What part of the brain deals with knowledge about plants?
The treefrontal cortex.
Why are neuroanatomy classes the smartest?
They have lots of brains.
happens when you bother the parietal lobe?
It gets very touchy.
What do you call a skull without 86 billion neurons?
A no brainer.
What did the brain say after it got an electrical shock?
"This was a stimulating experience."
Why do mummies like myelin?
Because of all the wrapping.
When does it rain brains?
During a brain storm.
What did the stimulus do to the neuron after they got married?
Carried it over the threshold.
I didn't want to have brain surgery but I had to.
I guess it changed my mind.
What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
"Let's connect."
Where do brains go for vacation in Massachusetts?
Braintree, MA
Where are neurons put in jail when they commit a crime?
A nerve cell.
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
I highly encourage you to have more brain farts
It develops mental fartitude.
Why were the two retinas such good friends?
They always saw eye-to-eye.
What did the angry brain say to the nociceptor?
"You're a real pain."
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
What is the name of the Hollywood movie that stars an "outlaw" brain and an "outlaw" woman on a road trip?
Thalamus and Louise.
What does the visual system use to play basketball?
Eyeballs.
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
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