What is a neuron's favorite television channel?
The Ion Channel
I had to give an impromptu speech on a piece of cloth that encircles the wrist...
I spoke off the cuff on the cuff.
"Let's have some skele-fun."
Where does a brain go on vacation?
To a hippo camp us.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
A mime in our town was arrested yesterday after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
What is a red heads favorite drink?
Ginger Ale.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
Why are blood physicians so rich?
Because blood cells.
My son was injected with poisoned blood from a person from Finland
He said "I am finnished."
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs lying on a pile of leaves?
Russle.
What kind of fish performs brain surgery?
A neurosturgeon.
A man with spine cancer walks up to his friend
His friend notices that the man is holding his back while walking up to him
His friend asks "What's wrong?".
The man says "My back is killing me".
What’s a skeletons favorite wrestling event?
A rib cage match.
I auditioned to be a carpenter’s hand.
Nailed it.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
I had a dream I was looking for my brain
But it was all in my head.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
My friend built an aromatherapy vaporiser with a built-in brain scanner
Seems a bit out there, but makes scents when you think about it.
What do you call a hat for the brain?
A thinking cap.
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
The guy who invented the watch must have had a lot of time on his hands
What can't cows stand on their hind legs?
Because they lactose.
What bug has 100 legs and lives by the outhouse?
Scenta-Peed.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
I lost my wrist watch somewhere near my house.
Now it’s the neighborhood watch.
What did the skeleton say to the French soldier? Bone Jaw
Baking and Fire Safety can go hand-in-hand.
Stop, drop and roll
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
It was a typo.
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
I got shafted.
"Bugs and hisses."
A pile of books fall onto Sean Connery's head
He exclaims: "I only have my shelf to blame!"
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
What’s it called your backpack messes up your spine?
Schooliosis !
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
I like to reminisce about the surgeon who removed my spine.
Really takes me back.
I went to the hospital for chest pains but the doctor kept inspecting my spine.
This place is back wards.
What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip.
What is a brain's favorite kind of boat?
A cranial blood vessel.
I got a handjob of a blind woman the other day. She said "Wow that's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand!"
I said "Come on you're just pulling my leg."
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
What reassuring advice did the meninges give to the brain?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
What happens when you anger a brain surgeon?
They will give you a piece of your mind.
I boiled a funny bone once.
It turned into a laughing stock.
Go to BabaMail
