What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
How can you tell the camera was afraid of the toaster?
Everytime he looked at it, it made him shutter.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
I was going to start ironing, but I decided it was too depressing.
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
What did the bread say before it jumped into the toaster?
"I'M BREADY TO DIE"
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws!
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
Moisturize the air!
As fast as humidly possible.
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