Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
So earlier I took my clothes from the washer and threw them into the dryer.
I can't be sure how they felt about that, but they seemed agitated.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
Just bought a vacuum cleaner, from a Buddhist selling them door to door. I should have known better..
It came with no attachments.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Why was the broken air conditioner already sad?
Because it couldn’t vent it’s problems.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
The sun is just a big space heater.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
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