Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
I get so mad when the heater is on.
I don't know why, I just lose my cool.
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
I put my fancy shirts in the freezer before I wear them.
It's cold fashion, look it up!
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
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