Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
Did you hear the one about the ice cube’s great escape from the freezer?
You could say it was a well thawed out plan.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
I just found out you should never put a bar of soap in the dishwasher.
It's hand wash only.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
Why do microwaves always mess up wifi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
My son asked me if I ate the leftovers he was saving in the refrigerator.
I told him "of course not - I ate them in the living room"
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
I went to shop for a toaster. The sailsman showed me all the fancy features.
I said "wow, that's cool!"
And he replied, "Sorry ma'am,it can only warm"
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
If you're stressed, try ironing clothes.
It's a great way to let off some steam.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
Go to BabaMail
