She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeRATINGS.
I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
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