How did the pizza escape the oven?
Through the dough!
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
And the lord said unto John "come forth and you shall have eternal life"
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
What do you call the art of Freezer meditation?
Fro-zen!
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
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