Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
I just built a car out of a washing machine.
I’ll be taking it for a spin later.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
I was holding a bottle of laundry detergent when all of a sudden it exploded, completely drenching my hands.
Oh well. I guess my hands are Tide.
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
Is your refrigerator running? I was hoping to vote for it.
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
I bring my TV remote into every sports bar I go to so I can change the channel to whatever I want.
It’s a real game changer
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
I saw an ad that read: “TV for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.” I thought to myself, "I can't turn that down!"
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
I love taking pictures of myself next to boiling kettles.
My friend reckons I have selfie steam issues
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
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