I feel uncomfortable next to my fridge
It's way too cool for me
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
My Co-Worker came in today exhausted from staying up all night watching Television comedies...
She Satired.
Laundry puns?
I got loads of them.
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
My wife says she's divorcing me because of my obsession with television dramas.
But will she leave me...?
Find out next week.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
What sound does a vacuum sweeper make when it explodes?
Ka-BROOM!!!
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?
I'm not a fan.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
What do you call a skeleton in a freezer?
Bone-chilling.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
A cow not being on the grill for very long is a rare occurrence.
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
Go to BabaMail
