Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Q: What do you get when you cross an Egyptian pharaoh with a mechanic?
A: Toot and Car Man.
What do you call a little monster's parents?
Mummy and Deady.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
Approximately how many Egyptians can be fitted inside a pyramid? A pharaoh mount.
Q: Why was young Tutankhamun home from school?
A: He caught a gold.
Who was the most flatulent Pharaoh in all of old Egypt?
King Tootsarecommon.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
Where does a pharaoh use the bathroom?
A pee-ramid
What do you call a Pharaoh who has road rage?
Tootin' car man.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
What do you call a ruler of Egypt that hunts whales with a folding bed?
Futon Harpoon
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Q: What do you get when you cross a green mummy with a yellow mummy?
A: A golden moldy
Who said that the pyramids are the tallest structure in Egypt? They are just between pyra-highs and pyra-lows.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
What did Pharaoh say when the seventh plague struck his land?
"Aw *hail* naw!"
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Q: What brand of underwear do pharaohs wear?
A: Fruit of the Tomb.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What did ancient Egyptian pharaohs sleep on?...
...Temple-pedic mattresses...
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
Q: How do mummies hide?
A: They use masking tape
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
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