What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
The ancient Egyptian people knew how to prepare delicious jams. It was only because of their skill of preserving things.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
Unlike fairy tales, the stories of Egyptian mummies always goes from riches to rags.
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
What's the most important day in Egypt?
Mummy's Day.
How did architects earn a living in ancient Egypt?
Pyramid schemes
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
Why did the pharaoh go to the dentist?
Egypt his tooth.
What did the thirsty mummy do?
They put on a thirst aid bandage.
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Q: What game show did pharaohs like the most?
A: The $20,000 pyramid.
How does the mother call the pharaoh son to the table?
Tutan, come on.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
De-coffin-ated coffee is the favourite coffee of the mummy.
What happens to Egyptian girls who forget to take their pills?
They become mummies.
Why was the Egyptian kid confused?
His daddy was his mummy!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh Khufu sent to jail?
A: He ran a pyramid scheme.
What would the pharaoh say after seeing the pyramid? He would name it mummy's home.
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
Do you think that the mummies enjoyed being the mummies? Of corpse they did!
My mummy friend is really tense lately. He always looks so wound up.
Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes? Because they are all mummies.
Q: Why did the mummy walk out of his tomb after 1000 years?
A: He figured he was old enough to leave home
What were cooking shows in ancient Egypt called:
Wok like an Egyptian.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Why does Egypt not celebrate Father's Day?
Because they're so full of mummies
When do mummies eat breakfast?
Once they catch you.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
As soon as the ancient Egyptian kings come to know about the pyramid scheme, they stopped building monuments immediately.
Q: What did the mummy say to the zombie?
A: Quit ragging me out!
Q: What do trains do at Egyptian train yard gates?
A: Toot-and-come-in.
What type of food do mummies like?
Chicken wraps.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
Q: Why didn't the Pharaoh know where he was?
A: He skipped history class.
How did Ozymandias became the greatest Pharaoh of Egypt?
He rammed everything that he sees
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
My history textbook says that the pharoh of Egypt used slaves to build the pyramids.
Which is kind of weird considering he could've just used bricks or something.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
What did the Pharaoh tell the man who tried to sell him a pyramid? "Well, that's the last thing I need."