What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?
Both are serious sluggers.
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
Why did the baseball player decide to shut down his website?
It just wasn't getting any hits.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? Babe Root.
Which author is anxious to write the book: Colorado Rockies, World Series Champs?
Ben Whayten.
What do you call a winged insect that hits home runs?
A fly swatter.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
What is the difference between a Yankees fan and a dentist?
One roots for the Yanks, and the other yanks for the roots. OUCH.
Why did the horny duck circle the baseball field?
She hoped to catch some fowl balls.
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why were there cows on the baseball field?
Because they were looking for the bullpen.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball?
Catch ya later.
Which cartoon character is the best at baseball?
Homer Simpson.
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why don't baseball players join unions?
They don't like to be called out on strike.
Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
He knew he had a chest protector.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
What has 18 legs, spits a lot, and catches flies?
A baseball team.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
Why was the mummy added to the game as a pinch hitter?
Because the manager knew he could wrap it up.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
A spectator at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then, it hit him.
How are baseball umpires and angry chickens alike?
Both make fowl calls.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Did you hear the joke about the pop fly? Oh, nevermind. It was over your head...
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
What did the mitt say to the baseball?
Hey baby, you're quite a catch.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
When his wife was preparing his favorite chocolate cake, the baseball player said "Batter Up.
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