The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
My mum made a chocolate bar out of peas. I asked if she could snap a peas off for me.
I had a traumatic experience with peas. I even had to go to thera-pea.
Lots of peas work as spies. Espea-onage is very common.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
Peas excuse how bad this pun is.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Sometimes a pea starts acting like a diva. We call them a pea-Madonna.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
I found my son sleeping in a pile of peas. May he rest in peas.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
Q: Did you hear about the pea that changed careers?
A: He went into a different field!
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
"Can I get some peas and quiet?!" shouted the pea dad angrily.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
Q: Why do peas dislike noisy eaters?
A: Because they want peas and quiet.
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
My dad tried to put peas into an orange once. It didn't appeal to me.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!