What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.