Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
Have you heard about the movie that involved haunted dairy items? I believe it is called Paranormal Activia.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
I tried out a lactose free diet. I stopped because I couldn’t figure out how to milk the almonds.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
What do you call a bee that makes a milk?
Boo-bee
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
Why did the cow fall down while being milked? Because the rug was pulled out from udder it.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
What would you call someone who cheats others while selling milk? A skim artist.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?