If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
What did the man say after his boss threw cheese, milk, and creamer in his face? How dairy!
How do you know if milk is expired? The smell is dairy bad!
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
I bought a really small cow last week. I really wanted to try condensed milk.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Which cow has great pickup lines? A cow which is smooth as milk.
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
What do you call a cow that only produces almond milk? One that went nuts.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
Where do they make all the decisions on a dairy farm? At the city cow-ncil.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
I tried finding the dairy factory last night, but I had no luck. I must have lost my whey.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Which book will be preferred by a man who sells milk? Cream and Punishment.
I think I drank some expired milk. I just have a gut feeling.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
Dad: Did you hear about the cow that was arrested?
Kids: No.
Dad: He was uddermining the authorities.
I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
There was a stampede out on the dairy farm. It was udder chaos.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
Where do cows write down their most intimate thoughts? Inside of their dairy.
My cows are super confusing. I can’t milk heads or tails of them.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
What do you call yogurt that is terrified of other dairy products? A cow-ard!
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
Don't use raw milk to make butter
It's not worth the whisk
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.