My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Are you a big fan of beef? I am. In fact, I could eat it until the cows come home.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Some types of meat like to play around a lot. These are generally the game types.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
How did the hotdog overcome his fear of ketchup? He mustered up the courage.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.