All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
What cut of meat do you get from an extremely tired butcher?
A filet mid-yawn
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
Cows don’t make very good cops. They refuse to go on steak outs.
If anyone gets a suspicious email from me about canned meat, don’t open it. It’s spam!
Did you hear about the farmer who sold his sheep to slaughter because he wasn't making enough money from the wool? The situation went from baa-d to wurst!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!