What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
I’m bacon you! Please stop with the meat puns!
What type of relationships do hotdogs like to have? A frank relationship, they can’t stand lies.
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
Meat cutters are really no good at stand up comedy; they tend to butcher all the best jokes.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
How do you defeat a meat-loving vampire? With a steak to the heart!
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
Some people think anyone who sells meat is gross. But, people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What's the name of the meatiest Knight of the Round Table? Sir Loin!
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What’s the best thing about being a butcher? You get to meat the best people.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
My local restaurant recently lost out on an entire order of the best local beef. No one has herd what happened to it.
The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Why didn't the butcher cross the road? He didn't want to brisket!
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
Did you hear about the butcher that backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
What is the most affordable type of meat? Deer, it is always under a buck a pound.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.