What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
What’s the best pick up line for someone you meet in a steak restaurant? “Nice to meat you”, of course.”
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
I’ve been told that I need to stop making puns about meat… But I just can’t stop cold turkey.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Two hot dogs were having a race. One overtook the other, who called out “I see you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup with me!”
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
What did the lovesick pig sing to his girlfriend? Don't go bacon my heart!
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
What did the hamburger coach tell his team after they lost the first round? “You have to keep frying, you can’t give up”.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
Did you hear about the butcher who got into danger? His life was at steak!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
No one likes sausage puns, they are the wurst!
My friend was totally addicted to the cold meat section in our local supermarket. It got so bad, they had to quit cold turkey.
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
It is really rare to find the most perfectly cooked steak.
My doctor told me to cut down on red meat.
So, could you brown it up a bit?
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What did the burger meat say to the BBQ? “Is it meat you’re looking for?”
Some people have to stop telling meat puns, because they simply butcher every single joke.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
I love meat. I think going vegetarian would be a big missed steak.
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
As a butcher, let me advise you never to back up into the meat grinder. It will make you get a little behind in your work.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
What do you call a pig that practices karate? A pork chop!”
Our local butcher had to go to the doctor the other day. He didn’t know what was wrong, but said that he was feeling offal.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
Where do cows go to celebrate New Years Eve? To a meat ball!
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.