- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
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