What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
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