Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
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