How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
The zombie's had some bad news.
He's looking very grave.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
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