Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What do you call a zombie in pajamas?
The sleepwalking dead.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What did the zombie carrot say to the lettuce?
- Give me your heads!!
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
What did the zombie boss say to the zombie employee?
- Don’t miss the undeadline!
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Go to BabaMail
