I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Zombies are dead but they live with it.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Go to BabaMail
