What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What part of the military do zombies serve in?
The marine corpse.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
Why do some zombies only eat the rich?
They are in the mood for something gore-met.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?
The Bu-gawking Dead
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why was the zombie so grumpy?
He woke up on the wrong side of the dead.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Where does a zombie get a spare body part
Second hand.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What advice would you hear from a zombie?
- Never put your eggs into one casket.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
I walked past Mozart's grave.
He was sitting up, shouting "Braaiinnss" and ripping up all his music.
I guess he's a decomposer now.
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What did the mummy say to the zombie?
- Stop ragging on me!
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What is the highest compliment a zombie can receive?
- Wow, you're in Grave condition!
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
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