What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What do vegetarian zombies say?
Graaaiiinnss!
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Did you hear about the zombie who was expelled from school?
He kept buttering up his teacher!
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Halloween was nearly over, and the zombie was hurrying to get back to her tomb before the sun came up.
She was rushing so much, she didn't even notice the headstone was the wrong shape before she got in. It was a grave mistake.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Why was the zombie afraid to cross the road?
He had lost his guts.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What do you call an undead bee?
A zom-bee.
Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?
He threw his arm out.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
What is black, white and dead all over?
A zombie in a tuxedo.
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Why can't the zombie get a job?
They all want someone more lively.
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
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