Why do zombies speak Latin?
It’s a dead language.
Why did the zombie take a sick day?
She had cold symp-tombs.
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
What did the zombie say when he failed the exam?
- I didn't have enough brains.
Where's the safest place to be in the zombie apocalypse?
The living room.
Did you hear about the zombie after-school club?
It's dead in that place.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Where do zombies go for beach holidays?
The Dead Sea.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What did the zombie bank robber say to the cops?
- You'll never take me alive.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What did the zombie call the girl he was dating?
His ghoul-friend.
What do zombies call a battle between classical music composers where one of them loses their mind?
A de-Bach-le.
What time do zombies wake up?
At ate o’clock!
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Why did the zombie eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack.
What did the zombie say after seeing his neighbor’s new car?
- I’m green with envy!
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What did the conductor say when he became a zombie?
Traaaaaaaaiiiinsss!!!
"This graveyard's gotten way too popular," said the zombie to the vampire.
"People are dying to get in."
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
Where do zombies go sailing?
Lake Eerie.
What is a zombie that speaks two languages?
Zombilingual.
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What did the last of the zombies say to the survivers of the apocalypse?
- It’s been a living hell with you guys around.
What do you call a zombie driving a Ferrari?
A zoombie.
Why don't zombies eat comedians?
They taste funny.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
What cars do zombies drive?
Monster trucks.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What do you call a herd of undead llamas?
The zombie alpacalypse.
What do zombies serve at parties?
Finger food.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What do you call a zombie DJ?
A dead beat.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What does the zombie say to her zombie crush?
- Are you going to kiss me or rot?
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
How do you know if you are dealing with a smart zombie?
They are wearing helmets!
Why didn’t the zombie stay in town?
There was a new head strong sherif in town!
What kind of potatoes do zombies like?
Monster mash.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
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