When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
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