Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.