If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
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