A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
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