When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
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