When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.