When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?
H2Oww
Why did the lake date the river?
He heard that she had a bubbly personality.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
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