What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If you toss it in the water and it sinks, it’s a girl. If the ant floats, it’s a buoyant.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
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