Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
What goes up when rain starts to come down?
Umbrellas.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What did Snoop Dog need to get an umbrella?
Fo’ Drizzle.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
What happens before it starts raining candy?
It sprinkles!
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What did the bottled water tell the spy?
The names bond, Hydrogen bond.
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
Why is the ocean always on time?
She likes to stay current.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
Why does water never laugh at jokes?
It isn’t a fan of dry humor.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
She thought he was too shallow.
My friend couldn’t pay his water bill anymore.
I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
How did the raindrop ask another raindrop on a date?
He asked her “Water you doing tonight?”
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
Why did the ocean leave the party early?
She was getting really tide.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
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