Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
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