Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
One night, a Viking called Rudolph the red was looking out of his window when he suddenly said, "It's going to rain."
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear."
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Go to BabaMail
