Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
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