Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
It might take a village to raise a child...
but it only takes a viking to raze a village.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What is a Vikings favourite letter?
Well obviously it's the C!
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
How was the viking party?
Pretty Loki.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man.
As they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
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