Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
Vikings aren't afraid of death.
They know they'll be Bjorn again.
What did the Viking boss say to his band of misbehaving marauders?
It's either my way or Norway!
Where does a Viking keep their baby?
In the Norsery."
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What stories did Vikings tell their children?
Norsery Rhymes
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
What do you call a Viking cat call?
Valholla
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What do you call a viking cemetary?
A grey fjord.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
What was the Vikings favorite song while invading England ?
Heathen flow by Pearl Jam
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Why was the viking boxer loved so much
He ragna"rocked" the house
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
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