Why do companies all around the world fear Vikings?
Because of their skills in hacking
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
What did a viking said to the other after a dad joke?
Aesir what you did there.
Was Henry VI a ViKing?
What did Dead Viking say to Voluptuous Valkyrie?
Valhallo there.
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
What does vikings call english villages?
Chopping centers.
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
What do you call a group of penniless Viking grave diggers?
The poor norsemen of the necropolis.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
Roman soldiers are trained.
But Vikings are Bjorn.
Why were the Vikings such good sailors?
You can lead a Norse to water but you can't make him sink.
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
A Viking walked into a bar.
The bartender asked, Why the long ship?
What is the most popular console with the vikings?
The axe-box
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Wanna hear a joke about Vikings?
Never mind, there's Norway you'd laugh at it.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Where do Viking warrior scrabble champions go when they die?
Vowel-halla
A viking adds symbols to an axe he has just made ...
" Oh no iv runed it"
A man goes into a Chinese restaurant and sees people dressed like vikings
"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman. I am a well traveled man and the atmosphere of my excursions must be perfect. I must kindly ask you to leave."
A big, muscular man dressed in Viking armor walked up to the man and said
"Norway"
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
What do you call a viking who is attracted to both genders?
Biking
Where do Vikings go when they get old?
The Norsing home.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
What did one Viking war paint say to the other?
Poly, you're a Thane.
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
What did the Viking chieftain say when asked about his motivation?
"I'm in it for the longhall."
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What do you call a Viking soldier's trusty steed?
A horse in the force of the Norse, of course.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
What do you call a weary Viking conqueror?
Bluetooth low energy
What do you call a Viking who's been bitten by a vampire?
Norseferatu.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
Did you hear about the viking cannibal?
He had a Swede-tooth.
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?
They have Valhallet parking
What do Vikings call the people that cut their hair?
Barberians.
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