Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
Most of your players never make it out of the lower-level tournaments. I highly doubt their Futures as a professional.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
Is your eyesight as bad as your cell phone reception? Because that was a terrible call.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
Federer is such a legend that they named the Roger’s Cup, and Fed Cup after him.
Two racquets started dating. Unfortunately, one was stringing the other along without any intention of tying the knot.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
My friend Elmer’s has gotten really good at tennis ever since he stuck to a healthier diet and went glue-ten free.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.
Pick-up line: You might as well play be a tennis player, because I’m about to court you girl.
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