I want to play my match outdoors so I can hit the ball higher in the air. I’m not good at persuading people, so I’m going to hire a lob-byist.
Djokovic to his friends the morning after winning the U.S. Open: Is anyone hungry for some Denny’s? Because I would like another Grand Slam.
Do you always play this badly at the net? Because I don’t like your approach.
Oh, I thought I was playing the first round, but I guess I got a free pass. Bye.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
Tennis is a lot like waiting tables. The most important thing to get right is the first serve.
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
Both tournament directors published the schedule at the same time. It was a draw.
Is there a bathroom in this tennis club? Because I’m about to drop a deuce.
Jack has a large neck so he decided to wear a bowtie to his wedding. Otherwise, he’d end up with a tiebreak.
Fred is so condescending about my tennis strokes. I can’t take any more of his backhanded compliments.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
I am disappointed that you are taking such a closed-stance on my footwork advice.
I wish they’d change the scoring system, but tennis is set in its ways and doesn’t see the point.
They call me Ace, because you just got served.
A hippie when his opponent disputes his calls: That’s pretty far-out, man!
I got so mad at my partner hitting moonballs, I had to pusher off the court.
The density of this concrete leads me to believe one thing: it is a hard court.
I can’t believe I framed the ball in for a winner. Shank you!
Is it ad-out again? I’m going to hit my breaking point.
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
What time should I book the court? Let’s shoot for around tennish.
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