Why are street thugs so good at basketball?
Because they know how to shoot, steal, and run.
The Montreal baseball team relocated to Tampa after being purchased by the
Exposito bros.
I really hate these strings. I can feel it in my gut.
Why are football players not allowed in bowling alleys?
After getting a strike, they spike the ball.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
What do Walter Payton and Luke Skywalker have in common?
They both did great with a hand off!
I’d like to throw away my old can, but my pusher friend here says he loves junk balls.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
The soccer player brought string to her game because she wanted to tie the score.
Which commandment do baseball players hate the most? Thou shall not steal.
Give me some pigskin
Ed Belfour's new contract offer isn't high compared to other goal tenders.
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
Everybody wants to light up a soccer stadium. However, this is only possible using a soccer match.
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
What kind of insect is bad at football?
A fumble-bee.
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
How is it that elephants are always ready for a swim?
They never forget their trunks!
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
What should you wear when you play against the National Volleyball Team? Football helmets.
The dog didn’t want to play soccer because it was a boxer.
What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!
I made a snap decision to watch football today.
What do you get if cross a baseball player and a monster?
A double header.
Why don't orphans make good baseball players?
Because they don't know where home is.
Basketball is the only sport where the basket is filled but never gets full.
What did they call Dracula after his team won the big game?
The Champire.
Would Gretzky have changed his name in order to play in Mexico?
Yes, The Great Juan did what it takes.
Grasshoppers do not fancy soccer matches because most of them prefer cricket matches.
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is
Why do hitters find it so hard to be productive when they are indoors? They always work on an angle to play outside.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
Why don’t quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage?
Because they produce audible groans!
What does a mom of a football fan hate the most?
A messi room.
What happened to the skier who was injured the the top of the peak?
It's been all downhill from there.
What happens if you run in front of a car?
You get tired.
The main difference between a dog and a basketball player is that one dribbles while the other one drools.
What do you call heels on ski boots?
Ski lifts.
The moto of their school bowling team was ‘let’s knock em down’.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
Join us for plenty of play action.
Why did the other volleyball team bow? Because they heard that the queens of the court were there.
Did you hear the terrible rumor about the volleyball player? That’s what she set!
Why is it annoying to eat next to basketball players?
They dribble all the time.
Pack your trunks – we’re having a pool party!
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
I’m establishing my punning game early today.
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