I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
Why do the ladies love baseball?
Because diamonds are a girl's best friend.
I applied for a job as an Instructor at a Scuba Diving center. The interviewer wanted to know if I can work well under pressure.
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Why don't skeletons play baseball?
Because they don't have the heart for it.
Why are fisherman so stingy?
Their jobs make them sel-fish!
What type of films should players watch to improve their shot? Slap stick.
I used to hate tennis, but ever since I’ve started winning 6-0, I love it now.
How do recreational league baseball players stay so cool?
They sit among their fans.
Why did the barber win the race?
He took a short cut!
What does a hunter do with a basketball?
He shoots it.
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
There is a specific type of cats who love to go bowling. They are known as alley cats.
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
The target in soccer is to kick it where it counts.
[Drink] That’s a thirst down!
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know what I have in common with this new powder? 8 inches.
I hate scuba diving.
It was the lowest moment of my life.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
Who wrote the fantasy novel How To Be A Better Baseball Player?
Ben Schwarmer.
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
I know an untidy guy who’s excellent at playing soccer.
What a Messi guy.
How did the octopuses win the football match?
Ten tackles
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
Why did the football coach attempt to destroy the vending machine?
Cuz it wouldn't give him his quarterback.
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Apple Turnover.
Golf is what you play…
When you’re too out of shape to play softball.
What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
Why was the wheelchair basketball team banned from the Paralympics?
They all tested positive for WD-40.
Which rangy centre could cover the whole ice? Jean Umbrelliveau.
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
Guy: Have you ever been fishing before? Girl: Why? Boy: I think we should hook up!
What do you call a horse that is good at football?
Neighhhhh-mar.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
I know my shot was in. But I won’t argue, because I’m not up for the challenge.
What do you call the basketball move where you drink too much alcohol and score?
SlamDrunk!
[Beer] This is my number one draft pick.
When your putt lips out, what disease do you have?
Liprocy.
Don’t get me wrong, I love our soccer team. However, in sharp contrast to the albatross, our team doesn’t have two decent wings.
Ski Area Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, do you believe in love at first sight, or should I go around this chairlift again?
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