How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
If Messier retires he's sure to be moosed.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
My moment in the sun.
What happens if you read too many Painful baseball Puns?
You're left in stitches.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
The huddle is real
Is your nickname cream cheese? Because you’re about to get bageled.
Why did the football referee have trouble measuring the first down?
Someone was yanking his chain!
I want to practice my forehand outside, but it will be wet in the morning and nice later on. So here’s the plan for today: inside-out.
Why should you swim in an ool instead of a pool?
Because there’s no “p” in it!
Did you hear that Notre Dame gave up four interceptions last week?
Knute Rockne would turnover in his grave!
Pardon me if I’m being pool-itically incorrect.
What’s the easiest shot in golf?
Your fourth putt.
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
Here’s more proof that I’ve gone off the deep end.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
Case in punt
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
Which position does the son of Dracula play on the baseball team?
Bat boy.
What do you call a basketball team that cries after they lose the game?
A bawl club.
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
My girlfriend told me she's breaking up with me because of my football obsession.
I told her she'll need to wait till the summer window if she wants a free transfer.
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
Why did the uncouth spud not stop talking during the football game?
Because he was a common-tater.
We’ll kickoff the party with some cocktails.
There are many grounds religious children can practice their soccer skills. However, most of them love the prayground.
Why wasn't the jogger all that bummed out when his girlfriend broke up with him?
'Cause they had a good run.
Why did the baseball team recruit a tiny ghost?
Because they needed a little team spirit.
Birds too love cheering on their soccer teams. They egg them on.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
They say I’m too indecisive to be a tennis umpire
but I still haven’t ruled it out.
Softball is just like baseball
Except the tactics seem more underhanded.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
What do you get for diving into a wave of oranges.
Vitamin Sea.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
Why did the vampire strike out?
He used the wrong bat.
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
Is the pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
Why did the blonde skier only wear one boot?
Channel 7's weatherman said there was a 50% chance of snow.
Scuba diving is a good hobby... if you wanna hit rock bottom.
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
Basketball players make good husbands. They never shoot their wives.
Would they get two minutes for tripping?
Not if they spliff the defence.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
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