Knights have always used one type of lamp since medieval times. These lamps are now called Knight Lamps.
Why should you never mess with a Gladiator who knows his English literature?
First he'll bellowulf at you, then he'll shakespeare
Hitler jokes are rude, Anne Frankly I don't care.
Where do hippos go to university? Hippocampus.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
When medieval armies went off to war...
were they playing for keeps?
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
What did the ancient roman dad name his fat newborn?
Voluminous.
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
What is the reproductive area in South America? Spermatagonia.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...
He was all out of swords.
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
My sister once took a knight as a dance partner to her high-school party because it was a prom knight.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
In the old times, the medieval kings and queens would only visit the dentist just before their coronation. This is because they wanted their teeth crowned!
Why didn't the medieval farmers harvest flowers to make tea?
It would have been an exercise in feudal-lily-tea.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights?
A Sir conference
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
What is a Viking's favorite music?
Ragnarock.
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
What's the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
Oh, about $10 K a year.
I used to get so mad when my kitchen appliances leaked
now it's just water under the fridge
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
My favorite crime TV show has a duck as the main character.
He always quacks the case.
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
Why did the electrical cords break up? There was no spark between them.”
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
How did the electrician pay for his new phone?
He charged it.
What did the black pepper say to his wife after coming out of the grinder?
"Don't worry. I'm fine."
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