What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
England is the wettest country because many monarchs reigned there for many years.
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Q: What did the young Pharaoh say when it got frightened?
A: Where's my mummy!!
How are air conditioners like humans?
Both get turned on when it's hot.
I was going to become a biologist. But all the endless coursework on hearts and lungs and kidneys and so on just made it seem like one long organ recital.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
What do you do with a dead geologists?
Barium
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?
Because it can't sit down!
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
In ancient Egypt, how did insects communicate?
Pharaoh moans
I would say that life for the majority of people in the middle ages was rather peasant.
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
Why did Henry VIII struggle to breathe?
He had no heir!
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
Never argue with Pi, it's irrational.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
Julius Caesar: "Brutus, that's a very nice dagger, is it new?"
Brutus: "Thanks, and yes, they had a sale at Traitor Joe's."
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
Julius Caesar's brother was the first historically known epileptic.
His name? Julius Seizure.
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
A soldier in ancient Egypt is eating his ice cream and quitting on the army
A deserter having his dessert in the desert about to desert his post.
Why did the freezer never graduate?
Because it was set on 0 degrees.
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