As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
I wonder why Lenin didn't realize that communism would fail to work. There were so many red flags everywhere.
Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?
He had more degrees.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
How does a Viking show the amount of raiding and pillaging that they do at the same time?
They use a Sven Diagram.
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons?
He wanted to Mark Antony.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
Napoleon conquered too much lang because he had too little Toulouse.
What's the Difference Between a Chemist and a Chemical Engineer?
Oh, about $10 K a year.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
For several days each month, some friends and I get together, play instruments and sing in a medieval style.
I guess you could call it my minstrel period.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What did Richard III say when someone asked to build a car park in Leicester?
"Over my dead body!"
What type of noodles did the ancient Egyptian kings loved to eat? Ramen.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/8th!
Q: How did the Pharaoh Hatshepsut know it was time to retire?
A: He saw the writing on the wall.
Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Have you heard of the knight whose enemies were always lurking near him and following him? That knight went by the name of Sir Rounded.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
Watson: Holmes, What kind of rock is this?
Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
The superconductor left without resistance.
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
Digging trenches during the middle ages was seen as a great honor because it showed someone's shovelry!
What is blood's message to the world? B POSITIVE.
What is the difference between archeology and grave robbing?
About 200 years
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
Serotonin and Dopamine: Technically, the only things you enjoy.
What is Julius Caesar's favorite food?
Roman noodles
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