The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
I have faith in Pfizer and its Covid vaccine, because they also make Viagra.
If Pfizer can raise the dead, it can save the living.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
How do Vikings get each other's attention?
They ValHolla!
When the Vikings discovered America, what did they name it?
Norse America.
I heard people are trying to ban roman numerals.
Not on my watch.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Why did the Vikings not have high doorknobs?
Because of Loki.
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
Why do medieval ghosts refuse to stop at McDonald's?
They prefer Wight Castle.
Why were medieval people from Mexico such good engineers? This is because they learned in Aztech!
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
I threw my toaster into the toilet the other day.
It was a shock to the cistern.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
What happens when someone throws a rock at you? Rock bottom hits you.
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
Caesar accused Brutus of cannibalism. "Ate dudes, Brutus?"
Why did the teacher use the evolution of Thor in viking mythology to teach both literature and Northern European history in her class?
She wanted to demonstrate using a Meta-Thor.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
Why wasn't the geologist hungry? He lost his apatite.
Physics student asks to go to bathroom.
Professor asks "Liquid, Solid or Gas?"
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
What do you call an ancient Egyptian chef?
Gordon Ramses.
Are electrons pessimistic or optimistic?
Obviously pessimistic, they are always negative!
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
Because X marks the spot
My wife asked if I knew how to turn on the dishwasher.
I told her I would some flirty compliments.
Why didn't Cleopatra confess that she loved Julius Caesar?
Because she lived in the Nile
Q: Why was Cleopatra worried about getting home from school?
A: She didn't want her mummy to see her report card.
The medieval king was very excited when the engineer told him that he could get him a castle at very little price. Turns out, the engineer indeed built a castle but it was a bouncy one.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
My wife told me: “You’ve got to stop watching so much TV, and read more!”...
so I turned on the closed captioning.
Looking for a boyfriend in engineering: the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
The crosseyed history teacher
Could not control her pupils.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
What did the old Egyptian get by staring at the river?
See-Nile!
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
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