I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
How can you tell a sword is a knights favorite weapon?
He doesn't use a lance a lot.
Although knights were considered protectors of the realm, they sometimes did get involved in the politics of their time. This was because the knights followed knight-wing politics.
What is fruity and burns?
The grape fire of London.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
My TV hates the outside world.
Whenever it faces outside it just glares.
How did the Roman senators picked who will be first to stab the emperor?
They played rock paper Caesar
This soldier, Titius, liked to kick a soccer ball around at night and was suspected of breaking some important statues. When his friends asked why he hadn't showed up for his platoon's morning workout, Terentius Vespa quipped,
"Oh, it's okay - he said he broke an arm."
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...
Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?
Irritable Brawls in Rome
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
How did murderers hide the body in medieval times?
They start by dragon it.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
I’m a hardcore believer in the “i before e except after c” rule
It’s science.
If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?
Nothing, he's gladiator.
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
Mummies are very aware of investment security. Their favorite is Cryptocurrency.
What's a snake's favorite subject to study in school? Hisssstory.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
Whoever discovered calculus sounded a bit derivative.
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
An atom loses an electron...
It says, "man, I really gotta keep an ion them."
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
What is a surfer's least favorite kitchen appliance?
A Microwave
The superconductor left without resistance.
Go to BabaMail
